Dogs are Amazing!
Dogs are amazing, aren’t they? They can find the most fun is the simplicity of life; for Instance; take the common tug a war dog rope, simple little device that can amuse the simplest of brains, take mine for example, I am easily amused.
Now I am content at letting my doggies play and just sit back and watch them. Hey most people should be that easily amused. So today I had been working at trying to get things organized in my room. I decided to come take a small break to just sit down.
Now Hemi the rottie is in the house and he just ran two miles on the treadmill. Amberly elected to train him on it after the last mishap and he is doing well. Hemi is very food motivated so it is amazing how a treat can teach a dog.
So with all this being said Hemi is finished doing the treadmill. I had found his tug rope that was downstairs and I brought it up to him. Now picture this, 90lb Rottie puppy, happy, very, very, happy. Now mind you I like my dogs to be happy, we all want to be happy right? But how many humans have you seen that take happy to the level a puppy can take it? Not too many, right?
So Hemi’s rope had a tennis ball braided into the end of it. Most people would think how cute, rottie puppy playing with a rope with a tennis ball on the end of it, Kodak moment, I’m sure your thinking, Ahhhhhh adorable puppy, family sitting around finding happiness in the mere existence of their doggies, mom with a huge box over her foot to protect her broken toe from the big lug who has no meaning of the word graceful.
Yes I’m thinking Norman Rockwell is looking for the very picture to sell millions of paintings with. Well you could not have been more wrong! I just don’t do Norman Rockwell not now not ever, that is not how my life rolls. I ask myself why not?
Why am I not deserving of this picture perfect moment when all dogs are in complete harmony with each other, the stars and the planets are aligned and the universe has never been happier right??.. “Because it’s me that’s why, ME! ME! ME! and when have I ever been lucky enough to have dogs that would not be put in Guinness Book of World Records for most bizarre behavior? Because why? Because it’s me, that’s why!
Now I’m old, not dirt old, I can still move around, and with the grace of God still breathing..(You know that is one of those things I’m happy for, breathing has become a way of life for me) it may take me a little longer to get where I want to be, but hey I am blessed regardless, I’m still alive to share my stories.
So here I am in this beautiful Norman Rockwell setting, dogs playing with each other and me not thinking anything other then peaceful bliss.
So then the story begins. Now let me set this up for you. Hemi has just run 2 miles on the treadmill, and then he ran up and down the stairs for 15 minutes chasing his ball. Rooby then walks on the side edge of the treadmill hoping not to get thrown across the room, as one mere missed calculations of her footing could cause her to be a lethal projectile and all this in the name of a dog treat crumb. The lengths that my dogs will go To for food!
Now I’m sitting on the sofa, my foot in a box so that I will not go to the Dr with the same toe broken for the forth time, as if three times is not embarrassing enough. Autumn is laying on her “Thrown,” actually it’s just a bed but you can’t tell Miss Princess Pooh Pooh bear that. Rooby is on the back of the sofa watching every move that everyone else is making watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to conquer whatever it is that she needs to conquer. That’s a doxie for you, Ten Foot Tall and Bullet proof! now here is the problem, Rooby thinks she is Ten foot tall and bullet proof, and Hemi? He is Ten foot tall and bullet proof and little Autumn all five pounds of her attitude that is bigger then life.
So here we have one dog that is, one dog that thinks it is, and one dog that is the ultimate of the ten Foot tall and covered in bubble wrap and you know what?? She is! She is a Bitch! and not a very nice one, Autumn can take a 90 lb rottie down in 2.5 seconds and never look back or feel remorse.
So Hemi grabs his rope and decides that it is so much fun to swing, have you ever been hit by a tennis ball being flung by a 90lb rottie?? Believe me it hurts and it hurts bad. It actually can leave bruises on me. Now I’m not a big baby, hey I’m tough (wonder where my dogs get the attitude?) But geezzz no one deserve that kind of abuse.
Now Rooby thinks, Wow this looks fun, can I play? and Hemi is more then compliant. Sure why not? He thinks maybe just maybe I can have that little pain in the butt on the end of this rope and play Snap the whip, now I’m not cruel to my animals, never ever, but I do find some things that they do very amusing like a doxie at the end of a rope with a rottie at the other end.
Picture this if you will; Rottie 120lbs, doxie 6lbs. odds aren’t looking real good for the doxie, but hey I play along just for the amusement of it all I was bored, what can I say? I’m easily amused!
Hemi, that adorable puppy, is having so much fun tossing his rope into the air catching it shaking his head with the ball in his mouth, cute huh? Now let me take to another form of cute. Hemi tossing his ball in the air letting it land wherever it may land, knocking over lamps, spilling drinks and shaking that darn thing so hard it could take out your kneecaps.
Now that is Reality! well at least for me. So I rub my kneecaps hoping the pain will dissipate with in a reasonable amount of time and thank God for allowing my toe not to become the target. Many thanks to all my friends that suggested the box. Yeah Right! That is unless you have a rottie thinking the box is his chair and crushes it on your foot, Great idea, NOT!
I could not get away from that box soon enough. The box idea was great, that is if I didn’t have 90lbs sitting on it and crushing on the only toe that has been hurt and the funny side to this? I have nine other toes, but no, not these toes, only the one that has been broken 3 times in the last 3 weeks.
Now to all of these people who have said to me, They don’t cast broken toes, they only secure them” I would like to disagree with that. Now all that know me know that they do not make a cast strong enough for me or the special boot or the special shoe. I could re-break my toe in a padded room, that is just how I am and I am beyond excuses for me! I think it would be considered beyond comprehension. I say that with just a hint of truth! Ok you got me on a whole lot of truth, there I said it!
So back to Hemi, My sofa has tons of pillows, I put my foot on the couch and pile it with pillows, (why didn’t I think of that in the first place?) Oh well, live and learn! Now Rooby sees all the fun that Hemi is having and decides to join in. So I think ahh how cute, big dog playing with little dog and a tug rope, doesn’t that just sound so cute? Sure maybe back in that Norman Rockwell picture, but now? Not in my life, not now, not ever!
Ok I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, many, many, times in my life, the wheels were turning and the hamster was dead, but in my defense I did IT with grace and dignity, what ever IT was.
Rooby decides that Hemi is having way too much fun by himself, in her little brain fun is not meant for anything but her. Ok that sounds like typical female logic, I can go with that, after all I am female and I do remember putting that in my hand book of women’s rules. Hey, Works for me!
So Miss Rooby leaps from the sofa and grabs the end of the tug rope, for just a moment their was nothing but silence, stillness in the air, nothing moving, not even a speck of dust, Hemi stands their pondering what is has just taken place, looking at Roo, looking at me, Looking at Amberly then back to Rooby. So here is this Dog, obviously perplexed by what is taking place. So I try to understand what he is thinking.
I watch him looking at me, hoping for just a glimpse of understanding as to what was about to take place. Then it happens, Roo jerks the rope and that was all Hemi needed to make the decision that it was on! Have you every seen a doxie hang on for dear life and growl at the same time?
She was not about to let go no matter how hard he shook that rope., No how, no way. So Hemi stops, he has made the choice to reanalyze the situations. Hummmmm Something is on the end my rope, and I know better then to hurt her, so now what do I do? Perplexing, isn’t it? Now we know this is not rocket science, at least not for you and me, but for a 9 month old rottie puppy? Probably!
So the first thing Hemi does is place his paw on the rope just between their mouths and holds it down, pretty smart I think, that is unless you a much smarter doxie puppy. Roo holds her ground refusing to let go of the rope growling the whole time, Hemi growls, (now that’s a growl!) Rooby’s not the least bit intimidated knowing that at any given moment the stupid will kick in and he will have to let go. Ahhh but that is not going to happen, Hemi has been cowering down to two little fur balls that have nip at his lip one to many times, they should not be in charge any longer.
Now I Know Hemi would never hurt Autumn or Roo intentionally, but in reality all he has to do is step on them and it could hurt them. I watch with much caution and amusement. The paw was not working; she would not waver, so he has to rethink his game plan.
Now what if I were just to shake this rope ever so slightly? Hummmm wonder what could happen. If the plan goes well she will go flying across the room and I will have the rope all to myself again, yep, I win! I am male I must win. Typical male logic! Hemi shakes his head and Rooby is still attached to that rope, Hemi puts his paw on Roo and trying to pull the rope out of her mouth.
She never falters, she hangs on, daring him to let go, the battle continues as Hemi runs through the house and Rooby is still attached. Hemi walks back in the family room rope in mouth, Rooby still attached, neither one is willing to give in, (have to love the German lines) stubborn to the end. The both were refusing to give up. Hemi stops for just a moment staring at me with the look of stupid on his face.
You could tell he was begging me to get this little dog off the rope; if nothing else to save his dignity. He stands there pleading with his eyes, and I’m thinking no way, no how am I going to let that big thing win, Rooby is one-tenth his size and she is not giving up. Why should I de-thrown her? So hemi lays down, rope still in mouth, Rooby attached firmly to the other side. Hemi rolls over to side hoping, just hoping, it will make her let go. Not happening. It’s a stand off!
Hemi is tired, dog tired, he just ran two miles on the treadmill, took about 30 jaunts up and down stairs, and he is ready for a nap, a long deserved nap, but Rooby is having no part of it. Rooby decided that the stand off must end. Now I know that Hemi would not of put up to much of a fight, so in his defense, this huge big lug of a puppy that deserves the title, I will come to his defense. He takes to rope firmly in his mouth refusing to let go, Rooby on the other end refusing to let go.
Dogs are amazing, aren’t they? They can find the most fun is the simplicity of life; for Instance; take the common tug a war dog rope, simple little device that can amuse the simplest of brains, take mine for example, I am easily amused.
Now I am content at letting my doggies play and just sit back and watch them. Hey most people should be that easily amused. So today I had been working at trying to get things organized in my room. I decided to come take a small break to just sit down.
Now Hemi the rottie is in the house and he just ran two miles on the treadmill. Amberly elected to train him on it after the last mishap and he is doing well. Hemi is very food motivated so it is amazing how a treat can teach a dog.
So with all this being said Hemi is finished doing the treadmill. I had found his tug rope that was downstairs and I brought it up to him. Now picture this, 90lb Rottie puppy, happy, very, very, happy. Now mind you I like my dogs to be happy, we all want to be happy right? But how many humans have you seen that take happy to the level a puppy can take it? Not too many, right?
So Hemi’s rope had a tennis ball braided into the end of it. Most people would think how cute, rottie puppy playing with a rope with a tennis ball on the end of it, Kodak moment, I’m sure your thinking, Ahhhhhh adorable puppy, family sitting around finding happiness in the mere existence of their doggies, mom with a huge box over her foot to protect her broken toe from the big lug who has no meaning of the word graceful.
Yes I’m thinking Norman Rockwell is looking for the very picture to sell millions of paintings with. Well you could not have been more wrong! I just don’t do Norman Rockwell not now not ever, that is not how my life rolls. I ask myself why not?
Why am I not deserving of this picture perfect moment when all dogs are in complete harmony with each other, the stars and the planets are aligned and the universe has never been happier right??.. “Because it’s me that’s why, ME! ME! ME! and when have I ever been lucky enough to have dogs that would not be put in Guinness Book of World Records for most bizarre behavior? Because why? Because it’s me, that’s why!
Now I’m old, not dirt old, I can still move around, and with the grace of God still breathing..(You know that is one of those things I’m happy for, breathing has become a way of life for me) it may take me a little longer to get where I want to be, but hey I am blessed regardless, I’m still alive to share my stories.
So here I am in this beautiful Norman Rockwell setting, dogs playing with each other and me not thinking anything other then peaceful bliss.
So then the story begins. Now let me set this up for you. Hemi has just run 2 miles on the treadmill, and then he ran up and down the stairs for 15 minutes chasing his ball. Rooby then walks on the side edge of the treadmill hoping not to get thrown across the room, as one mere missed calculations of her footing could cause her to be a lethal projectile and all this in the name of a dog treat crumb. The lengths that my dogs will go To for food!
Now I’m sitting on the sofa, my foot in a box so that I will not go to the Dr with the same toe broken for the forth time, as if three times is not embarrassing enough. Autumn is laying on her “Thrown,” actually it’s just a bed but you can’t tell Miss Princess Pooh Pooh bear that. Rooby is on the back of the sofa watching every move that everyone else is making watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to conquer whatever it is that she needs to conquer. That’s a doxie for you, Ten Foot Tall and Bullet proof! now here is the problem, Rooby thinks she is Ten foot tall and bullet proof, and Hemi? He is Ten foot tall and bullet proof and little Autumn all five pounds of her attitude that is bigger then life.
So here we have one dog that is, one dog that thinks it is, and one dog that is the ultimate of the ten Foot tall and covered in bubble wrap and you know what?? She is! She is a Bitch! and not a very nice one, Autumn can take a 90 lb rottie down in 2.5 seconds and never look back or feel remorse.
So Hemi grabs his rope and decides that it is so much fun to swing, have you ever been hit by a tennis ball being flung by a 90lb rottie?? Believe me it hurts and it hurts bad. It actually can leave bruises on me. Now I’m not a big baby, hey I’m tough (wonder where my dogs get the attitude?) But geezzz no one deserve that kind of abuse.
Now Rooby thinks, Wow this looks fun, can I play? and Hemi is more then compliant. Sure why not? He thinks maybe just maybe I can have that little pain in the butt on the end of this rope and play Snap the whip, now I’m not cruel to my animals, never ever, but I do find some things that they do very amusing like a doxie at the end of a rope with a rottie at the other end.
Picture this if you will; Rottie 120lbs, doxie 6lbs. odds aren’t looking real good for the doxie, but hey I play along just for the amusement of it all I was bored, what can I say? I’m easily amused!
Hemi, that adorable puppy, is having so much fun tossing his rope into the air catching it shaking his head with the ball in his mouth, cute huh? Now let me take to another form of cute. Hemi tossing his ball in the air letting it land wherever it may land, knocking over lamps, spilling drinks and shaking that darn thing so hard it could take out your kneecaps.
Now that is Reality! well at least for me. So I rub my kneecaps hoping the pain will dissipate with in a reasonable amount of time and thank God for allowing my toe not to become the target. Many thanks to all my friends that suggested the box. Yeah Right! That is unless you have a rottie thinking the box is his chair and crushes it on your foot, Great idea, NOT!
I could not get away from that box soon enough. The box idea was great, that is if I didn’t have 90lbs sitting on it and crushing on the only toe that has been hurt and the funny side to this? I have nine other toes, but no, not these toes, only the one that has been broken 3 times in the last 3 weeks.
Now to all of these people who have said to me, They don’t cast broken toes, they only secure them” I would like to disagree with that. Now all that know me know that they do not make a cast strong enough for me or the special boot or the special shoe. I could re-break my toe in a padded room, that is just how I am and I am beyond excuses for me! I think it would be considered beyond comprehension. I say that with just a hint of truth! Ok you got me on a whole lot of truth, there I said it!
So back to Hemi, My sofa has tons of pillows, I put my foot on the couch and pile it with pillows, (why didn’t I think of that in the first place?) Oh well, live and learn! Now Rooby sees all the fun that Hemi is having and decides to join in. So I think ahh how cute, big dog playing with little dog and a tug rope, doesn’t that just sound so cute? Sure maybe back in that Norman Rockwell picture, but now? Not in my life, not now, not ever!
Ok I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, many, many, times in my life, the wheels were turning and the hamster was dead, but in my defense I did IT with grace and dignity, what ever IT was.
Rooby decides that Hemi is having way too much fun by himself, in her little brain fun is not meant for anything but her. Ok that sounds like typical female logic, I can go with that, after all I am female and I do remember putting that in my hand book of women’s rules. Hey, Works for me!
So Miss Rooby leaps from the sofa and grabs the end of the tug rope, for just a moment their was nothing but silence, stillness in the air, nothing moving, not even a speck of dust, Hemi stands their pondering what is has just taken place, looking at Roo, looking at me, Looking at Amberly then back to Rooby. So here is this Dog, obviously perplexed by what is taking place. So I try to understand what he is thinking.
I watch him looking at me, hoping for just a glimpse of understanding as to what was about to take place. Then it happens, Roo jerks the rope and that was all Hemi needed to make the decision that it was on! Have you every seen a doxie hang on for dear life and growl at the same time?
She was not about to let go no matter how hard he shook that rope., No how, no way. So Hemi stops, he has made the choice to reanalyze the situations. Hummmmm Something is on the end my rope, and I know better then to hurt her, so now what do I do? Perplexing, isn’t it? Now we know this is not rocket science, at least not for you and me, but for a 9 month old rottie puppy? Probably!
So the first thing Hemi does is place his paw on the rope just between their mouths and holds it down, pretty smart I think, that is unless you a much smarter doxie puppy. Roo holds her ground refusing to let go of the rope growling the whole time, Hemi growls, (now that’s a growl!) Rooby’s not the least bit intimidated knowing that at any given moment the stupid will kick in and he will have to let go. Ahhh but that is not going to happen, Hemi has been cowering down to two little fur balls that have nip at his lip one to many times, they should not be in charge any longer.
Now I Know Hemi would never hurt Autumn or Roo intentionally, but in reality all he has to do is step on them and it could hurt them. I watch with much caution and amusement. The paw was not working; she would not waver, so he has to rethink his game plan.
Now what if I were just to shake this rope ever so slightly? Hummmm wonder what could happen. If the plan goes well she will go flying across the room and I will have the rope all to myself again, yep, I win! I am male I must win. Typical male logic! Hemi shakes his head and Rooby is still attached to that rope, Hemi puts his paw on Roo and trying to pull the rope out of her mouth.
She never falters, she hangs on, daring him to let go, the battle continues as Hemi runs through the house and Rooby is still attached. Hemi walks back in the family room rope in mouth, Rooby still attached, neither one is willing to give in, (have to love the German lines) stubborn to the end. The both were refusing to give up. Hemi stops for just a moment staring at me with the look of stupid on his face.
You could tell he was begging me to get this little dog off the rope; if nothing else to save his dignity. He stands there pleading with his eyes, and I’m thinking no way, no how am I going to let that big thing win, Rooby is one-tenth his size and she is not giving up. Why should I de-thrown her? So hemi lays down, rope still in mouth, Rooby attached firmly to the other side. Hemi rolls over to side hoping, just hoping, it will make her let go. Not happening. It’s a stand off!
Hemi is tired, dog tired, he just ran two miles on the treadmill, took about 30 jaunts up and down stairs, and he is ready for a nap, a long deserved nap, but Rooby is having no part of it. Rooby decided that the stand off must end. Now I know that Hemi would not of put up to much of a fight, so in his defense, this huge big lug of a puppy that deserves the title, I will come to his defense. He takes to rope firmly in his mouth refusing to let go, Rooby on the other end refusing to let go.
So here is how it should have ended. Hemi does one last shake of the rope and Rooby loses her grip, and the king still reigns and is victorious. Now here is how it really ended. Hemi is on his side panting, he is tired and rightfully so. He deserves a nice long nap with rope by his side right.
After all I would want a nap after running two miles and running up and down the stairs at least thirty times right? Oh how I wish for his sake it happened that way (and mine to). So picture this is you will, Hemi looking like he is going into cardiac arrest, (wait, or is that me?) And me feeling sorry for the lug, I tell Rooby to let go, (yeah, like that is going to happen) and she just stares at me, Like I’m the one who had a full bowl of stupid for breakfast. Ok I see this is not going to work, so I get up from the sofa, kick the box out of my way, ( yes, the same box this is now flattened, that was suppose to protect my foot?)
After all I would want a nap after running two miles and running up and down the stairs at least thirty times right? Oh how I wish for his sake it happened that way (and mine to). So picture this is you will, Hemi looking like he is going into cardiac arrest, (wait, or is that me?) And me feeling sorry for the lug, I tell Rooby to let go, (yeah, like that is going to happen) and she just stares at me, Like I’m the one who had a full bowl of stupid for breakfast. Ok I see this is not going to work, so I get up from the sofa, kick the box out of my way, ( yes, the same box this is now flattened, that was suppose to protect my foot?)
I was really hoping that the box would intimidate her, not happening! So I pick up Rooby and she is still attached to the rope. I try to pry the rope from her mouth, (no easy task mind you) and I tell her to release. Ok now, not at anytime in Rooby’s short little 5 moths of life has she ever been asked to release anything, she looks at me like the lights just went out in the tower and their was no more service. (that is probably not far from the truth).
Rooby has never heard the word release in her life, that word belongs to Hemi in his Police training, So Please tell me, what was I thinking? Because I and the dogs are both confused now. Hemi jumps expecting to respond to the word release and he looks at me like HUH? Release what? Ok now I have just undone 3 months of police training and terrified the dog with the treadmill, (Amberly fixed that one) and I have managed to do all this in just one short month. Wow that must be some kind of record.
Trainers rule #1; never confuse the dog with mixed commands. Yeah, well walk a mile in my shoes, what do they know anyway? They have only been training dogs for over forty years, and they think they know it all? I think not! So here is the new revised police training manual according to Sherry, Keep Sherry away for all training dogs! Ha! Like that is going to happen!
So time to rethink and re-group. Rooby refuse to give up the rope. She has those puppy teeth clamped tight, she not going down without a battle and I now must win. (I have a competitive side) I will not be shamed by anything that weighs six pounds. I ask Amberlyto please hold her as I try to open her mouth, now mind you this is no longer about the stupid rope, this is about whom is in control and it must be me I tell you.
Amberly grabs Rooby by the ruff of the neck, and holds her head, I on the other hand have the back end, Hummmmm now how is this going to work? I say Trade Me Ends I tell Amberly. So I take my fingers and try to wedge my finger in her mouth, but the doxie has a severe case of lockjaw and she is not going down without a fight. Must find new approach, I think, Ahh Haa You will never outsmart me Rooby, I am the Queen, I am the one and only, I am the boss of all bosses I will hold onto my kingdom and I will not falter, and all I had to do was think of FOOD! That dog will do anything for food and I could wave my flag in victory as I knew at the very moment, I had won!
Do you know what happens when you get to sure of yourself? Yeah, kind of like that! I again have been humbled by this doxie. Man, she good, she is really good! I could learn a lot from this dog. I have two thoughts about this whole ordeal, either my brain cells are committing suicide at a faster rate then I thought, or this dog is the reincarnations of someone else that gave me just as many problem as she does.
I go to the fridge and grab a hot dog (not fit for human consumptions) but dogs love them. I come back into the family room with the hot dog and show it to Rooby. (Ha! got now you now, you little demon). She stares at the hot dog, and then she looks at me, then back to the hotdog, back to me. Now she has some serious soul searching to do, and I snicker. I will be victorious I say and I will win, and you will lose my little pretty.
So here I am with this disgusting thing in my hand, and I sit down holding it, waiting, praying, believing that the plan will work and she will get the hotdog and I will get the rope. Now tell me, don’t you think that is a great plan? OK now I forgot to add in the possibilities. I forgot about the Rottie whom is equally food motivated. I forgot about my toe, that was only a foot away from the Rottie, I forgot that even sleeping dogs can smell hotdogs.
Not having taking all this into considerations would be the end of my reign. I did not have back up, I did not have all escapes covered, I did not see the possible outcome, but most of all the embarrassment of this whole ordeal would leave me with the curtains tightly drawn from that moment on.
The children would no longer be allowed out in daylight hours, and they would be home schooled from this moment on. The adults could only garden at midnight and we will carry our heads in shame for whatever length we stay here in our home. I really did not see that coming! And all this why you ask? Because I was not willing to give up that rope. That rope was power to me, that rope gave me purpose, that rope meant that I was as good as I once was, that rope would be framed and hung on the wall in victory, right next to the first Dollar bill from the first sale of my book Grandpa’s Pockets!
Oh the pride I would have when I gazed upon that rope. I honestly think I would tear up, knowing I was victorious, knowing I would be the best forever and ever. So now back to reality. The hot dog, a simple little pleasure for some in life. Not me, but maybe you. I must respect the hotdog, it did hold power unknown to mankind and more power then I could give a nuclear power plant in my household! Please let me set the stage for you, Hemi on floor, Rooby on the back of the sofa with rope in mouth, Me sitting on the sofa wagging the stupid hotdog in front of Rooby’s nose. She is still not wavering, but I see just a hint of something in her itty biddy brown eyes, I pray it is what I think it is, I pray that she going to give up the rope and grab the hotdog. I see her stare at Hemi; Do you think dogs have mental telepathy? I know longer think it, I now know it!!!! These two, count them two, dogs are plotting my demise. I feel it, I smell it, I know it’s coming, but my questions is How? How is this all going to take place I ask? I have a feeling this is going to keep me up for many nights pondering this question.
Well let me tell you how this it is all going to happen and God help me. Hemi is huge and a lot of dog to handle, he steps on you, you know it, he steps on my toe, and I say words that have not been invented yet. He knows he has this power over me, he stuck on stupid, but in reality he is very smart, just puppy dumb! Rooby on the other hand is very smart, always has been, she thinks, plans then executes, and puts the wheel in motion! She good, she very good!
Now there is never a good time for a sales person coming to my door, but what I find more amusing is when a sales person comes to my door telling me he can clean all my outside windows for X amount of money, and you know what is even funnier?? it’s raining!! I found that very funny, I even had to ask him “Did you not notice it was raining?” and you know what his response was? “Yes, but that won’t stop us from cleaning your windows!” can we all say duh? Sorry didn’t mean to sidetrack you from the story, but it is because of that very sales person that the story takes a huge twist.
Trainers rule #1; never confuse the dog with mixed commands. Yeah, well walk a mile in my shoes, what do they know anyway? They have only been training dogs for over forty years, and they think they know it all? I think not! So here is the new revised police training manual according to Sherry, Keep Sherry away for all training dogs! Ha! Like that is going to happen!
So time to rethink and re-group. Rooby refuse to give up the rope. She has those puppy teeth clamped tight, she not going down without a battle and I now must win. (I have a competitive side) I will not be shamed by anything that weighs six pounds. I ask Amberlyto please hold her as I try to open her mouth, now mind you this is no longer about the stupid rope, this is about whom is in control and it must be me I tell you.
Amberly grabs Rooby by the ruff of the neck, and holds her head, I on the other hand have the back end, Hummmmm now how is this going to work? I say Trade Me Ends I tell Amberly. So I take my fingers and try to wedge my finger in her mouth, but the doxie has a severe case of lockjaw and she is not going down without a fight. Must find new approach, I think, Ahh Haa You will never outsmart me Rooby, I am the Queen, I am the one and only, I am the boss of all bosses I will hold onto my kingdom and I will not falter, and all I had to do was think of FOOD! That dog will do anything for food and I could wave my flag in victory as I knew at the very moment, I had won!
Do you know what happens when you get to sure of yourself? Yeah, kind of like that! I again have been humbled by this doxie. Man, she good, she is really good! I could learn a lot from this dog. I have two thoughts about this whole ordeal, either my brain cells are committing suicide at a faster rate then I thought, or this dog is the reincarnations of someone else that gave me just as many problem as she does.
I go to the fridge and grab a hot dog (not fit for human consumptions) but dogs love them. I come back into the family room with the hot dog and show it to Rooby. (Ha! got now you now, you little demon). She stares at the hot dog, and then she looks at me, then back to the hotdog, back to me. Now she has some serious soul searching to do, and I snicker. I will be victorious I say and I will win, and you will lose my little pretty.
So here I am with this disgusting thing in my hand, and I sit down holding it, waiting, praying, believing that the plan will work and she will get the hotdog and I will get the rope. Now tell me, don’t you think that is a great plan? OK now I forgot to add in the possibilities. I forgot about the Rottie whom is equally food motivated. I forgot about my toe, that was only a foot away from the Rottie, I forgot that even sleeping dogs can smell hotdogs.
Not having taking all this into considerations would be the end of my reign. I did not have back up, I did not have all escapes covered, I did not see the possible outcome, but most of all the embarrassment of this whole ordeal would leave me with the curtains tightly drawn from that moment on.
The children would no longer be allowed out in daylight hours, and they would be home schooled from this moment on. The adults could only garden at midnight and we will carry our heads in shame for whatever length we stay here in our home. I really did not see that coming! And all this why you ask? Because I was not willing to give up that rope. That rope was power to me, that rope gave me purpose, that rope meant that I was as good as I once was, that rope would be framed and hung on the wall in victory, right next to the first Dollar bill from the first sale of my book Grandpa’s Pockets!
Oh the pride I would have when I gazed upon that rope. I honestly think I would tear up, knowing I was victorious, knowing I would be the best forever and ever. So now back to reality. The hot dog, a simple little pleasure for some in life. Not me, but maybe you. I must respect the hotdog, it did hold power unknown to mankind and more power then I could give a nuclear power plant in my household! Please let me set the stage for you, Hemi on floor, Rooby on the back of the sofa with rope in mouth, Me sitting on the sofa wagging the stupid hotdog in front of Rooby’s nose. She is still not wavering, but I see just a hint of something in her itty biddy brown eyes, I pray it is what I think it is, I pray that she going to give up the rope and grab the hotdog. I see her stare at Hemi; Do you think dogs have mental telepathy? I know longer think it, I now know it!!!! These two, count them two, dogs are plotting my demise. I feel it, I smell it, I know it’s coming, but my questions is How? How is this all going to take place I ask? I have a feeling this is going to keep me up for many nights pondering this question.
Well let me tell you how this it is all going to happen and God help me. Hemi is huge and a lot of dog to handle, he steps on you, you know it, he steps on my toe, and I say words that have not been invented yet. He knows he has this power over me, he stuck on stupid, but in reality he is very smart, just puppy dumb! Rooby on the other hand is very smart, always has been, she thinks, plans then executes, and puts the wheel in motion! She good, she very good!
Now there is never a good time for a sales person coming to my door, but what I find more amusing is when a sales person comes to my door telling me he can clean all my outside windows for X amount of money, and you know what is even funnier?? it’s raining!! I found that very funny, I even had to ask him “Did you not notice it was raining?” and you know what his response was? “Yes, but that won’t stop us from cleaning your windows!” can we all say duh? Sorry didn’t mean to sidetrack you from the story, but it is because of that very sales person that the story takes a huge twist.
The hotdog is in my hand, Hemi is standing by my side at the door, Rooby’s on the back of the sofa to my side, Amberly is in the kitchen. I call Amberly into the room so she can hold Hemi for me and then it all happens and of course only to me!
Try to keep up with me on this, as it all happened so fast. Amberly grabs Hemi’s collar and takes the hotdog out of my hand, Rooby drops the rope grabs the hot dog runs out the door across the yard, into the street, up the neighbors lawn onto their porch where there are about 6 teens sitting and doing nothing with their life.
Bringing up the rear is Hemi, he is not going to give up the fight for the hotdog, Amberly run’s out the door, I hobble behind her in extreme pain as Hemi launched off , yes you have it, my toe!!! The kids are all doing the cute little doxie thing and then they see this huge rottie galloping towards them and they all start screaming. So the mom of the house opens the door ( can we say big mistake?) to see what was the kids were screaming about just as Amberly get to the porch and tries to reassure the kids that Hemi was threat to them.
The Lady holds the door open and in runs Rooby with the hotdog still in mouth and yes you got, it Hemi is right behind her. The lady screams and their dog starts barking as Rooby is running through their house trying to find a safe place to eat the hotdog. As I said before, Hemi is not graceful, nor will he ever be, It was not put into his genetic code and it’s just not ever going to happen. The lady still frantic and in a panic she refuses to go into the house until the dogs are out of there.
So I finally make it to the porch and I so politely introduce myself, Hi, I’m your new neighbor across the street, I’m so pleased to meet you! well so much for the neighborhood welcome wagon showing up to my house anytime soon. Amberly asked it she would mind if she could go into her house and retrieve the dogs. The kids had disbursed to who knows where (probably in the tree lol); the lady was close to having a stroke and me? My toe is throbbing.
Now I’m happy to report that my dogs did not destroy one single thing in her house. (Thank you God) Yes I am still in shock with that, but at the same time so very grateful as I know how destructive my dogs can be. Amberly walks out with Rooby in her arms and Hemi by the collar. There is still a half of hotdog hanging from Rooby’s mouth.
I make my apologies to this women and walk away knowing we will never be in the Best friends forever club. “Oh My!” (note the sarcasm). I grab Rooby as Hemi is a handful when lead by the collar, I concede that for her valiant efforts the hotdogs was hers! As we get to the front door I place Rooby on the ground and she stares at me, so I tell her to get your happy little butt inside. She looks at me and puts the hotdog down and of course Hemi grabs it and it’s gone in one swallow. Ok now what? I wonder. So when she gets into the house she race to the back of the sofa where the rope still lays. Know Way I tell Amberly.
Try to keep up with me on this, as it all happened so fast. Amberly grabs Hemi’s collar and takes the hotdog out of my hand, Rooby drops the rope grabs the hot dog runs out the door across the yard, into the street, up the neighbors lawn onto their porch where there are about 6 teens sitting and doing nothing with their life.
Bringing up the rear is Hemi, he is not going to give up the fight for the hotdog, Amberly run’s out the door, I hobble behind her in extreme pain as Hemi launched off , yes you have it, my toe!!! The kids are all doing the cute little doxie thing and then they see this huge rottie galloping towards them and they all start screaming. So the mom of the house opens the door ( can we say big mistake?) to see what was the kids were screaming about just as Amberly get to the porch and tries to reassure the kids that Hemi was threat to them.
The Lady holds the door open and in runs Rooby with the hotdog still in mouth and yes you got, it Hemi is right behind her. The lady screams and their dog starts barking as Rooby is running through their house trying to find a safe place to eat the hotdog. As I said before, Hemi is not graceful, nor will he ever be, It was not put into his genetic code and it’s just not ever going to happen. The lady still frantic and in a panic she refuses to go into the house until the dogs are out of there.
So I finally make it to the porch and I so politely introduce myself, Hi, I’m your new neighbor across the street, I’m so pleased to meet you! well so much for the neighborhood welcome wagon showing up to my house anytime soon. Amberly asked it she would mind if she could go into her house and retrieve the dogs. The kids had disbursed to who knows where (probably in the tree lol); the lady was close to having a stroke and me? My toe is throbbing.
Now I’m happy to report that my dogs did not destroy one single thing in her house. (Thank you God) Yes I am still in shock with that, but at the same time so very grateful as I know how destructive my dogs can be. Amberly walks out with Rooby in her arms and Hemi by the collar. There is still a half of hotdog hanging from Rooby’s mouth.
I make my apologies to this women and walk away knowing we will never be in the Best friends forever club. “Oh My!” (note the sarcasm). I grab Rooby as Hemi is a handful when lead by the collar, I concede that for her valiant efforts the hotdogs was hers! As we get to the front door I place Rooby on the ground and she stares at me, so I tell her to get your happy little butt inside. She looks at me and puts the hotdog down and of course Hemi grabs it and it’s gone in one swallow. Ok now what? I wonder. So when she gets into the house she race to the back of the sofa where the rope still lays. Know Way I tell Amberly.
No way in hell is she getting that rope, I will climb the highest mountain, I will part the red sea, I will take on an army, but she cannot have My rope. “Mom that’s pretty big talk for someone that has probably had her toe broken how many times did you say? Wasn’t that in just a months time period?
Yeah that’s what I thought, Let the dog have the rope! No! I protest. That rope is mine, I have fought for this rope and I am not about to let a 6lb dog defeat me now! I grabbed to rope and yelled “ I am victorious, I have won the rope, It is mine I say, all mine! and Amberly looks at me as she walks away shaking her head .
Mom please tell me I was adopted, Sorry but not going to happen. You are of my blood. You are the reason people should not have children and why some species eat their young! she snaps. And you know what? She is probably right! But let me tell you this; that rope hangs on my wall right next to my dollar bill!
And that was my day, how was yours?
Yeah that’s what I thought, Let the dog have the rope! No! I protest. That rope is mine, I have fought for this rope and I am not about to let a 6lb dog defeat me now! I grabbed to rope and yelled “ I am victorious, I have won the rope, It is mine I say, all mine! and Amberly looks at me as she walks away shaking her head .
Mom please tell me I was adopted, Sorry but not going to happen. You are of my blood. You are the reason people should not have children and why some species eat their young! she snaps. And you know what? She is probably right! But let me tell you this; that rope hangs on my wall right next to my dollar bill!
And that was my day, how was yours?
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