Why Me?
I can’t remember a day quite like today; I actually would love to banish it from my memory banks. I never knew I could drive so many miles in my life and not accomplish anything at the same time.
My morning starts will me falling out of bed, not something I really wanted to do, but it was coming up on noon; So I stick my nose out the door looking waiting for anything that may hit me square in the face. I almost made to the bathroom before I was hit with my first dilemma; Mom can you take me? Stop right there! I yell, what? snaps Shane.
Can I please go to the bathroom before you hit me with all the crap that your about to hit me with? I snap. Well I guess so, if you have to go that bad! (Smart ass) So I take my shower and get ready for the day and walk out of my bedroom door and who was standing their but Shane! And at this very moment I knew that I would pray that I would never relive this day again!
What is it Shane? What is it that is so important that I need to put my life on hold for you? Not allowing him to speak, after all Shane why not; I have nothing else to do today what is that you need? Can you take me to get my check cashed and to get some new clothes? OK Shane; this is what I need to do before I can go. I need to feed your father, I need to feed the dogs, (not necessarily in the order) do the dishes, put a load of laundry in, vacuum the house, trim the trees, prune the roses, Get my PhD in school, get my face lift and body lift, have complete knee and hip replacement; but hey, other then that I can fit you into my schedule.
Geeeeez mom did you get up on the wrong side of the bed? Oh let me tell you what, that was not the thing to say to me that morning! I grab Shane by the shirt now mind you Shane was 18 yrs old and a very big boy, just not big enough to take me on; and I told him in my calming voice.
If you want to live out the rest of your life you will not talk to me for the rest of the day, you will do everything I ask; and then some, you will get all A’s in school, you will have scholarship that will pay for your college degree, You will mow the lawn, you will prune the rose, you will do poop duty in the back yard, you will clean all pens, you will do the laundry, you will feed the animals and your father,(not necessarily in that order) and most of all you will not speak to me for the rest of my life do you understand? Yes mame, He says. Shane Puts his hands in the air and starts moving backwards out the door, moving out the door slowly! says Shane. Smart boy, I say!
Now that I had all the chores done I felt a little relived and told Shane that I would take him to run his errands. He gets into the car with me, He sits their for a moment, then looks at me, then looks at the radio then back at me. What is it child? Speak! Mom you told me not to speak to you for the rest of my life! Oh yeah I forgot about that. Ok son I can’t read your mind what do you want? Can I turn on the radio please? Wow, he said please; must have put the fear of God in that boy; yep I’m feeling the power.
Go ahead turn on the radio I say is a very sweet tone. Hey mom? Stop! Shane did I say you could talk to me yet? No, then don’t! Yes mame! Oh yeah, bring on the power, I going to have to do this more often I thought, and the day just got much better.
So with all this nonsense taken care of I see the gas gage and it is on fumes.Crap I think, so I go to the gas station, then to the bank then to Wal-Mart. I look at my watch OMG I only have 20 minutes to get home to pick up Ciara and go off to physical therapy. Well normally I don’t drive really fast (yeah right) So I put on some of my favorite tunes ACDC and crank the tunes and managed to miss every highway patrol man; and boy howdy where they lucky because if they had tried to stop me today I would of ripped their head off and shoved it where the sun doesn't shine. So then I get back to the high school to pick up Ciara and head off to the physical therapist.
Now Ciara is set up doing the therapy needed for her foot and then the Therapist turns to me and says Mrs. Brown I think we need to crank it up a notch; of course he couldn't be talking to me; no one in the right mind would of said that to me on this particular day, not if the planned on having any life expectancy left.
There is no way in hell he would have said that to me, not today of all days what is he thinking? I ask myself, he must have known he would be taking his life in his hands. Crank what up a notch? I ask, your treatment, he says. Oh my treatment, and that means exactly what? as I glare at him. He studies my face for a moment and say, OK then; I can see today would not be a good day to work your muscles a little harder. I smile and walk away. Smart man I think, he must have a will to live and his mother must have showed him the “FACE” many times.
We finish at the physical therapist and have to take Ciara to the eye Dr. where she had appt to have eyes checked again. So here we sit at the eye Doctor for an hour and a half just to find out that the frames that Ciara needs are going to cost me another $75.00 over the insurance. By this time I was ready to pull my hair out, I had; had it.
So I left the Dr. alive and walked out the office quietly and said I would return with the extra $75.00 tomorrow. I quietly get into the car reach over to the back seat grab the pillow that was lying on the seat placed it over my face and screamed into it. I said nothing as I placed the pillow back where I got it, turned the car on and started the ride home. Now all this time Ciara is laughing her head off; her makeup is melting off her face and now she is mad at me because I made her laugh? Give me a break!
My morning starts will me falling out of bed, not something I really wanted to do, but it was coming up on noon; So I stick my nose out the door looking waiting for anything that may hit me square in the face. I almost made to the bathroom before I was hit with my first dilemma; Mom can you take me? Stop right there! I yell, what? snaps Shane.
Can I please go to the bathroom before you hit me with all the crap that your about to hit me with? I snap. Well I guess so, if you have to go that bad! (Smart ass) So I take my shower and get ready for the day and walk out of my bedroom door and who was standing their but Shane! And at this very moment I knew that I would pray that I would never relive this day again!
What is it Shane? What is it that is so important that I need to put my life on hold for you? Not allowing him to speak, after all Shane why not; I have nothing else to do today what is that you need? Can you take me to get my check cashed and to get some new clothes? OK Shane; this is what I need to do before I can go. I need to feed your father, I need to feed the dogs, (not necessarily in the order) do the dishes, put a load of laundry in, vacuum the house, trim the trees, prune the roses, Get my PhD in school, get my face lift and body lift, have complete knee and hip replacement; but hey, other then that I can fit you into my schedule.
Geeeeez mom did you get up on the wrong side of the bed? Oh let me tell you what, that was not the thing to say to me that morning! I grab Shane by the shirt now mind you Shane was 18 yrs old and a very big boy, just not big enough to take me on; and I told him in my calming voice.
If you want to live out the rest of your life you will not talk to me for the rest of the day, you will do everything I ask; and then some, you will get all A’s in school, you will have scholarship that will pay for your college degree, You will mow the lawn, you will prune the rose, you will do poop duty in the back yard, you will clean all pens, you will do the laundry, you will feed the animals and your father,(not necessarily in that order) and most of all you will not speak to me for the rest of my life do you understand? Yes mame, He says. Shane Puts his hands in the air and starts moving backwards out the door, moving out the door slowly! says Shane. Smart boy, I say!
Now that I had all the chores done I felt a little relived and told Shane that I would take him to run his errands. He gets into the car with me, He sits their for a moment, then looks at me, then looks at the radio then back at me. What is it child? Speak! Mom you told me not to speak to you for the rest of my life! Oh yeah I forgot about that. Ok son I can’t read your mind what do you want? Can I turn on the radio please? Wow, he said please; must have put the fear of God in that boy; yep I’m feeling the power.
Go ahead turn on the radio I say is a very sweet tone. Hey mom? Stop! Shane did I say you could talk to me yet? No, then don’t! Yes mame! Oh yeah, bring on the power, I going to have to do this more often I thought, and the day just got much better.
So with all this nonsense taken care of I see the gas gage and it is on fumes.Crap I think, so I go to the gas station, then to the bank then to Wal-Mart. I look at my watch OMG I only have 20 minutes to get home to pick up Ciara and go off to physical therapy. Well normally I don’t drive really fast (yeah right) So I put on some of my favorite tunes ACDC and crank the tunes and managed to miss every highway patrol man; and boy howdy where they lucky because if they had tried to stop me today I would of ripped their head off and shoved it where the sun doesn't shine. So then I get back to the high school to pick up Ciara and head off to the physical therapist.
Now Ciara is set up doing the therapy needed for her foot and then the Therapist turns to me and says Mrs. Brown I think we need to crank it up a notch; of course he couldn't be talking to me; no one in the right mind would of said that to me on this particular day, not if the planned on having any life expectancy left.
There is no way in hell he would have said that to me, not today of all days what is he thinking? I ask myself, he must have known he would be taking his life in his hands. Crank what up a notch? I ask, your treatment, he says. Oh my treatment, and that means exactly what? as I glare at him. He studies my face for a moment and say, OK then; I can see today would not be a good day to work your muscles a little harder. I smile and walk away. Smart man I think, he must have a will to live and his mother must have showed him the “FACE” many times.
We finish at the physical therapist and have to take Ciara to the eye Dr. where she had appt to have eyes checked again. So here we sit at the eye Doctor for an hour and a half just to find out that the frames that Ciara needs are going to cost me another $75.00 over the insurance. By this time I was ready to pull my hair out, I had; had it.
So I left the Dr. alive and walked out the office quietly and said I would return with the extra $75.00 tomorrow. I quietly get into the car reach over to the back seat grab the pillow that was lying on the seat placed it over my face and screamed into it. I said nothing as I placed the pillow back where I got it, turned the car on and started the ride home. Now all this time Ciara is laughing her head off; her makeup is melting off her face and now she is mad at me because I made her laugh? Give me a break!
I head home to see my loving husband to get a very much needed hug. I could not of been more wrong; not only was he not there; he left all the dogs out; do you have any ideas of what 12 Pomeranian's and a rottie mix puppy can do unsupervised for 1 hour in a house? And heavens lets not forget Tux is the ring leader. Now I’m thinking my day could not get much worse; wrong again!
I am going to tell you what not to leave on the floor when you’re stupid enough to leave 13 dogs unsupervised alone in the house for one hour.
I am going to tell you what not to leave on the floor when you’re stupid enough to leave 13 dogs unsupervised alone in the house for one hour.
Here is the list of what not to leave out:
25lbs of dry cat food; all gone! No doggies in my bed tonight.
The 20lbs of flour I took out of my car just before I left this morning, Oh yes, Ebby my black pom; she is now white!
The big pack of toilet paper; you know the ones that have 24 rolls in them? Well not now!
The 20lbs of flour I took out of my car just before I left this morning, Oh yes, Ebby my black pom; she is now white!
The big pack of toilet paper; you know the ones that have 24 rolls in them? Well not now!
25lbs of cat litter; real hard to get out of carpet.
The one gallon containers for you pets drinking water? Now completely empty, and of course I filled it just before I left. Do you realize I had to grasp onto the counters to walk into the kitchen hoping not to fall flat on my ass?
Sundays newspaper no longer stacked neatly by the chair, it has been shredded by little Bodi, (he has a paper fetish)So all this is what was left in my kitchen before I left; not any longer! It was a disaster zone; I was right in the middle of it with no hope in sight.
Now anyone who knows me know that I am not a cranky person, but today
just about sent me over the edge, Not only did I rip Dave’s head off for leaving the dogs out, but to top it all off do you think that anyone would of started dinner? That would be a big Hell no! So when I thought I was angry before? Not even remotely! Now I’m fuming I am so angry I have no words to speak; and me being speechless is a novelty within itself.
My son Jess walks in the room and has to nerve to say to me; Hi mom, how was your day? As I’m holding unto the kitchen sink trying not to slip in this mess I turn around and give him that “LOOK” and Jess looks and me and in a soft voices; Walking out of the room slowly, smart boy that Jess, smart boy!
Now that was my day; so how was yours?
Sundays newspaper no longer stacked neatly by the chair, it has been shredded by little Bodi, (he has a paper fetish)So all this is what was left in my kitchen before I left; not any longer! It was a disaster zone; I was right in the middle of it with no hope in sight.
Now anyone who knows me know that I am not a cranky person, but today
just about sent me over the edge, Not only did I rip Dave’s head off for leaving the dogs out, but to top it all off do you think that anyone would of started dinner? That would be a big Hell no! So when I thought I was angry before? Not even remotely! Now I’m fuming I am so angry I have no words to speak; and me being speechless is a novelty within itself.
My son Jess walks in the room and has to nerve to say to me; Hi mom, how was your day? As I’m holding unto the kitchen sink trying not to slip in this mess I turn around and give him that “LOOK” and Jess looks and me and in a soft voices; Walking out of the room slowly, smart boy that Jess, smart boy!
Now that was my day; so how was yours?
No comments:
Post a Comment